WHAT WAS SO GREAT ABOUT OREGON ANYWAY?

Remember MS DOS? And classroom apple computers? There was always one per room but your teacher only let you use it like once during the whole 4th grade year! I loved drawing in “KidPix” and playing old school computer games like, “Where in the World is Carmen San Diego” and “Donkey Kong.” But hands down, my favorite computer game to play was "Oregon Trail."

"Oregon Trail" was the coolest game I think I still have ever played. I played it so much, I probably could've gotten carpal tunnel. The graphics were so old school, but it didn’t matter, cause you had a goal…and that was to get to Oregon! Unlike today’s kids games, where the learning factor overpowers the fun, "Oregon Trail "slipped bits of history into the game without you really knowing. Like what Chimney Rock looked like and what the meaning of typhoid, dysentery and cholera all meant. What it didn't explain though was why they were all trying to go to Oregon? I mean what was so great about it anyway? I understand the need to go west, but it seems to me there were better states than Oregon to settle in. I didn't really care at that point, cause I was too busy trying to buy supplies and food from the nice bald merchant with the pipe and glasses.

I was always the banker. I found that I always survived longer as the banker cause I had more money to buy food and supplies. I learned this because I was the farmer once and somehow my wagon axles had broken, and my oxen and whole entire family had died from either snake bites or broken bones within the first 5 min. of the game. The Trail was rough…I think I only made it to Oregon like once. And I remember being really disappointed, cause it was just some kinda “congratulations you made it to Oregon without dying” message, with a graphic of a prosperous town and people coming out of the city in their bonnets and baskets to welcome me.

I got to the point where I was perfecting the game. I got really good at hunting. You’d see a one dimensional dude (which was you) and then you’d see one-dimensional deer and buffalo pop out behind the one-dimensional trees, rapidly moving across an utter black-ground. My problem wasn’t running out of food…it was that I had too much food and it spoiled. I’d pass all the landmarks like Fort Laramie and Independence Rock, but I’d always…ALWAYS die trying to ford the river. I probably should have paid for the ferry but I was a risk taker and I usually had a kid who was dying of some horrible sounding disease. I’d get half way and then sure enough, I’d see the pixilated blue-ness engulf my little wagon.

Oh well…… “Play Again.”

TO THE MEN IN 3125

To the men in 3125

Ok, so I know I’ve already written an ode to the man in 3127…but my hall has more than one weirdo and I just got inspired.

Dear Guy #1 in 3125,

I guess it’s been over a year since we first started working together, and I must say it’s still just as weird to pass you in the halls or make direct eye contact with you. I enjoy the humor you add to my day as you purposely take the stairs just to avoid riding in the elevator with me – I guess its better we don’t, we might not have anything to talk about during 30 seconds it takes to get to the 3rd floor. Along with most everyone else on the floor, you seem to think I double as the Help Desk. I really appreciate your confidence in me to fix the copier, the fax machine and the color printer. I wouldn’t have ever acquired the skills relevant to a printing technician if it hadn’t been for you using the one and only color printer to print everything from a 300 page word document to your mortgage status. Which by the way, looks like it’s time to re-finance. I think you’re a great example of someone who has become an expert with MS Outlook. I mean, why come all the way over to my desk 5 ft. away from your office when you can just email me multiple times about the broken color printer that actually just happens to be out of paper. Yep, you’ve got email pretty much down, I don’t think I remember what your voice sounds like anymore. I’ll wrap up my appreciation letter by saying, it’s ok to ignore all my administrative emails. After all, it’s not like I do it because I’ve been tasked by our boss. I, like yourself, am obsessed with sending emails for no apparent reason. You must’ve figured me out since the follow up flag and the high priority mark weren’t a concern to you. It’s ok…I’ll just BCC our boss from now on mmmkay?

Pleasantly annoyed,
Amy

Dear Guy#2 in 3125,

I love how you express loyalty and admiration to me being in this particular job position. I mean, it does my heart good to see you waiting at my desk patiently for me to get off the phone. Most everyone else just walks away – I don’t know, it’s like they think I’m busy or something. You and I…we’ve been on the same team since as long as we’ve both been hired, and yet you give my name to candidates coming in to interview with the recruiting team my name and number as a POC. It shows you think my customer service skills are excellent and that I can handle a future employee calling me up complaining that she’s been in the interview room for 30 minutes and no recruiter has shown up. And about the projector. I absolutely love being tracked down upon its arrival. It doesn’t matter where I am…whether it be the kitchen, the 2nd floor eatery, coming out of the bathroom…there you are with the projector, ready to turn in. That way it’s in my hands and I won’t find it on my desk chair right? I’d like to address a habit of yours dealing with the printer. It seems as if you share your officemate’s desire to print your whole entire hard drive on the color printer. And while your officemate’s issue is jamming…yours is low toner. Can I just say that it is necessary for my whole day to stop when the toner becomes low. Because I’m the only one on this floor with two legs that is capable of walking downstairs to the supply room to get more toner. I’m so grateful for the privilege I have to replace the color toner twice a day! I am now able to include that on my resume that I happen to be updating as I write you this letter because you know…working with someone like you just makes my job that much more worth it!

Joyfully agitated,
Amy