LONG WEEKEND CRAZINESS

So, I know its been a while since I’ve written, but I had to write about the crazy Memorial Day Weekend I had. First of all, I’d like to start out with a random funny joke I heard from a stand up comic. “So my dad wanted me to follow in his footsteps….he died in quicksand.” ….Love it!

Ok so Friday, I went over to TGI Friday’s with Amanda and lets just say we took full advantage of the Happy Hour. We both gourged on wings and potato skins and a couple beers and managed to ring up a tab of a whopping 12 dollars! Then I went to Kristina’s apartment and watched Old School and then we spent the rest of the night talking about how the military guys we love would rather be with the Uncle Sam they love instead of the fabulous girls we are. The way girls’ lonliness and heartache feed off of one another is amazing and pretty humorous cause we were laughing all night.

Next came Saturday. Saturday morning, I went to the gym, then went tanning, then all the sudden decided to make a full gallon of Sangria. I made so much I had to go out and buy a “cooler” to transport it. So I took it over the girls bbq and it was a good time. People hanging out, eating, drinking my Sangria. So then day turned to night and we’re sitting outside and all the sudden the Bulgarian neighbors show up. Yeah, Bulgarians – as in 7 Bulgarians living in a 2 bedroom apartment, all working as lifeguards down the road. One of them was a masseuse and gave me a hand massage and proceeded to teach me how to speak Bulgarian. All I really remember was the word for “Cheers” and that you have to look them in the eye when you say it. “Nasdravay” Hurray for being cultured!! Then they wanted to know the American word for “drunk.” So an hour later after “wasted” “blitz” and “inebriated” had all been said, the night started dying down.

Sunday, Va calls me from the girls place and says she needs to be taken home and that I have to help her break into her place cause she doesn’t have her keys and Amanda was on a special date or something like that. So I pick her up, and we call a locksmith. Ok, four hours later we’re still outside waiting for the freakin’ locksmith. So we battle the day-laborers hanging out by the 7-11 and get Slurpies. By the way, I love strutting my stuff in front of 25 unemployed short Mexicans yelling, “hey, ese!” Too bad I don’t have a fence to paint or anything like that. Anyways, the Locksmith finally came and was literally there for 2 minutes, not even. He charges Va 150 dollars to pick a lock that we had already gotten loose by kicking the door multiple times like we were Chuck Norris or something. We overestimated ourselves.

So then I rush home, shower and head to DC for the Memorial Day Concert with my small group girls and the guy’s small group. It was awesome! There were tons of people and important folks there. By the middle of the concert, all of us girls were balling thinking about certain someones who are already in Iraq or soon to be in Iraq – the concert was moving hands down. The military service medley was played and we had fun with that. I sang the whole Army song! So after that, we walked around DC and saw the monuments and all the stuff people left on them. We went to the Vietnam Memorial and bumped into Big and Rich. Yeah, just walked right up and with the embarrassing persuasion of one of the guys with us, they took a picture with us. I’d have rather taken a rain check on saving the horse and riding the cowboy if ya know what I mean…nothing like disturbing the quiet somber environment of the wall on Memorial Day by yelling to celebrities for a daggon picture! Gees.

So Monday. Monday I woke up in cold sweats and puked everywhere on the account of some serious woman pain. And then I did nothing all day. It was nice until about 8 o’clock that night when I hear that my friend Kristina is in the ER for stomach pain. So I go over there and wait and wait and wait as she does test after test after test. I slipped out around 3 am and went to the 7-11 to get coffee. Of course I’m the only one in the store and it’s painfully silent as I could feel the foreign cashier’s eyes glaring at me like he was happily waiting to make an emergency police call. I get up to the register and expect him to start ringing but Habib kept looking at me like he was about to ask, “Did you want to pull a gun on me too?” When he finally asked me if that was it, I wanted to be like, “Just the coffee, oh and this AK-47…” He then berated me for charging a $1.50 coffee to my credit card. I stopped and just gave him my WTF face…“Are you serious? It’s 3 am, there’s no judgment at 3 am…” He stopped talking to me after that probably in fear that I really did have a gun. So upon returning to the hospital, all the nurses decided to show me exactly how much they hate their jobs by snapping at me. Late night drama – it’s the best thing in the world. So, finally all the tests were done and the cat scan and ultrasound were perfectly fine so they sent her home at 5 am. So we get in the car, Kristina is about to pass out again, all I'm trying to do is drive her home, but some moron decides to double park and block me in. So here it is 5:15 in the morning, and I'm pulling an Austin Powers, driving 2 inches, then reversing for 1, then driving 2 more inches, all the while laughing hysterically because it's 5:15 and our sleep was continuing to be limited by my driving skills. 15 minutes later, I finally got out of my space and I drove her home. And pretty much I slept till 9 and got into work around 10 yesterday.

So, I guess you could say I had a really eventful, interesting, and emotionally packed weekend.