TO THE GUY IN 3127:

Why does every man in a corporate office building have to be so cheesy? Everything is quiet and people are working and things are getting done. The silence does not need to be broken with you walking by and saying some stupid comment just for the sake of saying something!

These are middle-to-late-aged men who have grown kids and feel like they can relate to my 23 year old self. These are the same men who ask me how to work the printer and feel the need to come to my desk randomly and use the automatic stapler. It’s like they think that by making majorly ridiculous one-liners to me, my incredibly redundant and boring day will “turn my frown upside down!”

My favorite is the line that has the word “fun” somewhere in it. Like, “You’re having too much fun!”, “You need to stop having so much fun,” and “Not all of us can have that much fun!” I get that at least once a day! First of all, does it LOOK like I’m having fun?! For crying out loud, if I was having fun, I’d be at Happy Hour! Or how about the one that goes like this, “Stop making so much noise, no wonder we can’t work.” I’m sorry, I’ll stop the bulldozing going on behind my desk…gees!

Why do they feel like they have to say things like that? They are the cheesiest comments ever! And the worst part about them is that you have to give a pity chuckle. Why? Because they’re expecting one. It’s the symbol clash after the drum beat for them when it should be crickets chirping. They think they’re the building comedians who’s job it is to make me laugh by saying, “Have you seen my brain today, I can’t find it…” But instead of saying, “You’re the corniest man alive,” I go, “…haha…” and it satisfies their souls. And I hate that.

Honestly these kinds of comments make me cringe. They’re the most unnecessary, wastes of breath in the world and I’m so tired of them. This is the biggest reason why I hate sitting at a bay in the hallway. If I had an actual office, I wouldn’t have to deal with these people annoyances. I hate these comments more than the people who manage to walk by my desk 10 times within a 3 minute timeframe. And more than the people who come to get candy from MY bowl and complain that it’s not the kind they like.

Ok seriously, who does that?!