FORGET DINNER AND A MOVIE...LET'S JUST GET MARRIED!!

Why is everyone getting married? Is that like the cool new thing to do now? It seems like I get emails from friends in the past almost daily that they’re engaged. And of course you think, “Oh, that’s really exciting…I’m happy for them.” And then you think, “Crap, another wedding!?!?!”

And I love how they tell their engagement stories too, not leaving out a single detail. That’s awesome that you got engaged and “Yay they finally said I love you!” but lets be real here, every other single person who reads these things deals with an ultimate depression the minute you start reading the announcement. I really like the ones that just include a brief message like, “I just wanted to say that I just recently got engaged…blah blah blah.” Then there’s the ones that say, “Hey guys, it’s been like 2 years since I’ve written you all, but I just wanted to shout out to the whole universe that I got engaged…” continued by a 40 page novel with details about how their filet mignon was cooked that night and how they rode off into the sunset in a stretch limo…”It was so romantic!” Cry me a river…oh wait, they did cause they made sure to put that in the email too! When I get engaged, my email will look like this, "Hey everyone, I'm getting married! The end."

And what the heck is up with people choosing the holidays to get married. You gotta space out your celebrations throughout the year, not lump them all together, what else is there to look forward to?! And what friend wants to use their holiday vacation time to go to your wedding when they could be home with their family or doing something else cool with their one week of the year off? A really good one, that’s why I’m going to the one on Dec. 30!

All of the people I know who are getting married, which is like all of them, are between the ages of 21-25. 21?! I’m about to be 23 on Sunday and I can’t imagine having gotten married when I was 21. I just got out of college! I need to see if I can make it on my own before I can make it with someone else! (Which obviously I can cause I’m fabulous!) Anyway, I think 24-25 is a good age to get married. I think I wanna be married by 24 or when I’m 24. That’s a good age, not too old, but not too young either. Of course I don’t know either – I could be single for the rest of my life and turn into a crazy cat lady. Oh gosh – please no!

Am I really at that age group now where it’s time to get married? It seems like just yesterday when we were at the age where everyone was getting their drivers licenses or getting accepted to college! All my money is going to be spent traveling to no name towns and buying expensive wedding presents that you don’t really want to give but feel really obligated to. All the weddings I go to, I sit there with nothing but my thoughts: “Oh my gosh, why would you ever do that at your wedding?” “What was she thinking with that dress?” “I can’t believe there’s no alcohol here!” “I’ll give this 2 years…tops.” A lot of those thoughts come from being a very critical person, but mostly they come from being true. But I know there’ll be people at my wedding thinking the same thing, so I guess it’s fine and dandy in the end.

[And yet another Disclaimer: This blog is not meant to hurt feelings or speak badly about marriage. I am very happy for my friends who are getting married in the next couple of months and will be at all their weddings with a genuine desire to witness their big day. Don’t read into the frustration or critical comments – I overemphasize a lot. Those engaged friends of mine who know my critical personality well enough won’t get mad or take this blog personally. Those who don’t know me well enough…if you get upset, well then, whatever…I guess you just don’t have to invite me to your wedding.]