SINGLES AWARENESS DAY

So here it is…another Valentine’s Day and I’m once again alone. “All By Myself” is my theme song today. No flowers. No candy. No man. Just the $5 bill my grandma sent me. Ok, who does that!??! What am I gonna buy with that? A box of tissues to cry my lonely single self to sleep with?!?! Come on!!!

I went to sleep last night looking at someone’s picture and then woke up this morning feeling really depressed. Cause I could’ve actually had a great Valentines Day…for once in my life! But in the end I just wasn’t worth it apparently. So I’m doing what every other self respected single girl does on Valentines Day – GIRLS NIGHT OUT! In the words of Dane Cook, Girls night Out is “I just wanna get in a circle with my friends around our shoes and pocketbooks and just dance…I just gotta dance!!” Well, that’s a little exaggerated, but it’s close. Girls night out is where you and your 5 other single girlfriends get really dressed up and go out to an upscale restaurant and talk crap about guys all night. So lets look at the details, shall we:

1.) Getting really dressed up isn’t really for each other, even though it’s intended to be that way. It’s really for the single guys that go out specifically on Valentines Day to hit on desperate single girls. We gotta look smokin’…even if it’s to impress a d-bag who wears a popped collar polo over a long sleeve t-shirt!

2.) The upscale restaurant is a must. No girl who’s in charge of setting up girls night out calls up her friends and says, “Hey girls, I was thinking Subway for Valentines…lets ditch the guys and eat fresh!!” No…it’s usually like a Chart House or a high end seafood place or some place in Reston Towne Center. It’s the restaurant where all the guys throw down their last month’s paycheck so his girl can get lobster and crème brule. Why does it have to be upscale, you ask? Well just cause we don’t have men doesn’t mean we can’t eat good food tonight either?! This is when multiple appetizers AND desserts are ordered. There’s nothing more attractive than 5 beautiful women stuffing their faces with 2 whole plates of bruschetta and a Great Wall of Chocolate anyway!!! After all, the price doesn’t matter cause you’re worth it and cause, well you know…it’s Valentines Day!

3.) There’s always boy bashing at girls night out! Even though, “It’s just us girls tonight!,” the conversation at the table will always have one topic: Guys. For the most part it’s fun – with a lot of laughter about them and AT them! But then there’s usually one girl who bursts into tears over her latest heartbreak, gulping her 8 dollar glass of Merlot down before the steak even comes. This almost always causes the Samantha of the group to say something like, Screw guys! We don’t need ‘em…! Blah blah blah…lets do a shot! So then girls night out ends up being drunken girls night out and we all know how that ends!!!

So that’s Girls Night Out in a nutshell. It’s the one night that’s meant to be so freeing – but no matter how much fun you have, every girl participating wishes they could really be out with their knight in shining armor. I already have a knight in shining armor - he’s desk-size, he’s cute, he’s furry, and he costs $4.99 at Target!

…YAY for Teddy Bear boyfriends!!