WHAT WAS SO GREAT ABOUT OREGON ANYWAY?

Remember MS DOS? And classroom apple computers? There was always one per room but your teacher only let you use it like once during the whole 4th grade year! I loved drawing in “KidPix” and playing old school computer games like, “Where in the World is Carmen San Diego” and “Donkey Kong.” But hands down, my favorite computer game to play was "Oregon Trail."

"Oregon Trail" was the coolest game I think I still have ever played. I played it so much, I probably could've gotten carpal tunnel. The graphics were so old school, but it didn’t matter, cause you had a goal…and that was to get to Oregon! Unlike today’s kids games, where the learning factor overpowers the fun, "Oregon Trail "slipped bits of history into the game without you really knowing. Like what Chimney Rock looked like and what the meaning of typhoid, dysentery and cholera all meant. What it didn't explain though was why they were all trying to go to Oregon? I mean what was so great about it anyway? I understand the need to go west, but it seems to me there were better states than Oregon to settle in. I didn't really care at that point, cause I was too busy trying to buy supplies and food from the nice bald merchant with the pipe and glasses.

I was always the banker. I found that I always survived longer as the banker cause I had more money to buy food and supplies. I learned this because I was the farmer once and somehow my wagon axles had broken, and my oxen and whole entire family had died from either snake bites or broken bones within the first 5 min. of the game. The Trail was rough…I think I only made it to Oregon like once. And I remember being really disappointed, cause it was just some kinda “congratulations you made it to Oregon without dying” message, with a graphic of a prosperous town and people coming out of the city in their bonnets and baskets to welcome me.

I got to the point where I was perfecting the game. I got really good at hunting. You’d see a one dimensional dude (which was you) and then you’d see one-dimensional deer and buffalo pop out behind the one-dimensional trees, rapidly moving across an utter black-ground. My problem wasn’t running out of food…it was that I had too much food and it spoiled. I’d pass all the landmarks like Fort Laramie and Independence Rock, but I’d always…ALWAYS die trying to ford the river. I probably should have paid for the ferry but I was a risk taker and I usually had a kid who was dying of some horrible sounding disease. I’d get half way and then sure enough, I’d see the pixilated blue-ness engulf my little wagon.

Oh well…… “Play Again.”