SPLISH SPLASH!

You know what’s crazy?! The automatic flushers they have on the toilets in the bathrooms at work. Every time I go in there, it’s quite a surprise! I’m convinced they’re on one minute timers instead of acting off the sensors on the wall. You walk in the stall, “flush.” It’s like it’s saying hello! Then it takes about five minutes to tear off the paper cover and situate it on the seat. “flush.” So you spend another 5 minutes situating another cover because the first one got flushed down with the last. Then it flushes again when you sit down and do your thing. When you’re done, you’re expecting it to actually perform its function when you stand up, but it doesn’t flush! It’s like it’s got a mind of its own and its playing tricks on you! So you stand there staring at the toilet, waving your hands across the sensor, and it still doesn’t do it! You have no choice but to give in and press the manual flush button. What the heck?!

Oh and these are not flushes that you have on your home toilets. No, these are flushes like Niagara Falls has relocated to your bathroom. They’re intense, splashing water everywhere! It’s like Old Faithful coming out of your toilet! Some of my European co-workers call them bidets instead of commodes cause they seriously could do the trick. You gotta be quick! Or else you’ll walk out of the bathroom looking like somebody took a bucket full of water and threw it on you!

In another month, my whole department is relocating to another building. A building that doesn’t have automatic flushers. I hope people will remember to flush, cause those that have been here for years are used to the psycho toilets that do it for them! People won’t know what to do!

The stairwell is directly across from the restrooms and every time I walk by, I always here a toilet flush. Who knows who’s in there? It could be a new employee who isn’t familiar with our high speed porcelain technology or it could be someone who’s been in there for a while and it keeps going off. (ew.) OR! It could be nobody at all…

Yay for the ghost flusher!!