MEOW!

Ok, so what’s the deal with cats? They’re everywhere, its like their taking over the world or something. Cats are devilish little creatures. They’re not like dogs where they want to play with you and be petted, no cats scamper off, roam around the premises, and claw your furniture…even if you’re nice to them! They also have split personalities that change the second you let them out of the house. They can sleep in your lap and you can pet them all day long and be happy and then the next minute you look outside and there are feathers all over your yard and five baby moles lined up in front of your sliding glass door with the cat looking up at you as if he’s saying, “Look what I did!!!”

I have a big fat black cat named Shadow. I’m surprised I still remember the cat’s real name cause my family calls her “Kitty” or just plainly “CAT!” I’ll make an exception for her cause she’s literally the best cat I’ve ever met in my life. All she does is sleep and eat. For real. She weighs about 50 pounds and takes up the whole half of the couch when she sleeps. You would think that we as the humans would make her move, but no, our seating preferences are altered for the sake of the dang cat! Anyway.

So back to my original statement, what’s the deal with cats? I mean when I was in college, all I heard about was that crazy rumor going around campus about the huge cat lair underneath all the academic buildings. There were stray cats everywhere! Along with tame raccoons and squirrels. (I’ll save squirrel stories for another time.) My friend Laura was always talking about this cat lair as if she visited it every day! And she’s the type of person who is really compassionate so it wouldn’t surprise me if she was showing up to the lair to feed them everyday and offer TLC. We always told her it was a rumor, but deep down inside I think we started to believe her.

All you hear about in the news nowadays are the insane, single, middle-aged women who live with a cajillion cats. Seriously! I read about this women who had dead cats all over her kitchen while another half million roamed freely in her house. There were so many cats, that she lived in her car!!! And this is not the only case! They arrested some women in Burke for it the other day! I hope none of my friends ever become crazy cat ladies…there’s one I’m somewhat worried about, but I’m pretty sure I’ll have to rescue her from her endless supply of cake frosting instead of digging her out from underneath a bunch of mangy, emaciated cats.

Anyways, it seems to me that this area is overly populated with cats. And not just any cats, but extreme, “I’m gonna take over your life, bow and worship me” cats. It’s starting to become a major concern of mine. That is all.